Sunday, July 31, 2011

No motivation

I can't explain this feeling.
In all honestly, I only wish there was an exact words to explain it all, but sadly there isn't.
I seem to have lost my touch in the things I loved to do.
Making videos and being proud, taking pictures and feeling accomplished and most of all, writing and being astounded by my own work of art.
Now, I have no motivation to do anything.
I can't seem to put together a video anymore, Can't take a picture without deleting and it and I cant seem to write without stopping and forgetting about it.
Over all I feel lost within myself.
There is something blocking me from doing what I loved to do and I just can't get rid of it.
Maybe its my depression, finally getting a good grip on me.
Whats worse is, I feel like I can't rid of it, like there really isn't anyone out there to really help
For once in my life, I feel alone.
More then anything.
Sure I have friends that want nothing more then to help me but this feeling refuse to let me open up to them
tell them whats wrong and what I'm feeling cause I feel like they'll never really understand, fully grasp what its doing to me.
so the loneliness seeps in more.
wrapping around my heart and constricting it and grabbing a hold of my mind, shoving thoughts that tell me, I will always be alone.
What is there to be done.
No matter how hard I look, I cannot find an answer
With no motivation, my life is just spiraling down wards again
and this time, no one is there to catch me..

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