Closed off

Closed off
A term many people use to identify someone who doesn't let others "in" someone who only pushes people away and allows themselves to be "anti-social"
People think because someone is this way, they just aren't worth getting to know let alone worth the attempt of acceptance.
I am "Closed off" or better yet "Closed up" for a reason. A reason so many are to blind to see.
People think because of how I am, my life is perfect but its not, no one life is perfect. Some endure many things while many just have an easy life.
I'm not saying my life is the worse but I'm sure so many can relate.
Relate to having people closest to you hurt you so much you think suicide is the way to end the pain.
Relate constantly being molested for 2-3 years of your life and not being able to stop it cause your to young to really grip whats going on.
Even relate to being raped. Though sadly, not many can say "I was raped because I was saving my best friend" but even so.
My life had its ups and down but its more of the "downs" that have made me the way I come off.
There have been goods times in my life and its the goods that have given me memories worth keeping but its really not enough.
I'm closed up because, in truth its a way of me finding out whose willing to stay and attempt to get through. Not to push them away but to have them pull themselves closer.but not many make it through, instead just give up and call me a "lost" cause. so I'll remain the way I am until someone is really willing to get through my doors and walls to find the real me.